I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"

"Oh, no!" I replied. "I've never done either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I replied, "No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy."

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, ballooning, motorcycling, or rock climbing?"

"No, I don't," I answered.

He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He then looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit if you live to be 80?"